Mavis

Date: September 5, 2009

__________________
Director

Willed Body Program

University of _______, School of Medicine
Department of Biological Structure

Dear Dr _______:

My father, Robert W. Jones, passed away on Saturday, July 5, 2008, at the University of _____ Medical Center after surgery for a broken hip. As horrible as that experience was, I am writing to you about a series of subsequent unfortunate events originating with your organization.

My Dad broke his hip two days before he died. At age 87, given that he was suffering from Alzheimer’s, my sister and I, his only surviving relatives, were painfully aware of the difficult prognosis. My sister and I were grateful to be able to be with him in the ICU when his respirator was slowly turned off. Although I thought I was prepared, of course, I was not. The staff in the ICU and throughout the hospital were truly awe-inspiring. In the ICU, the nurse played some gentle music, asked us about our father, and shared our tears. At one point, she gently asked, “Did your father express his wishes for after he passed?” We replied, “Yes, he arranged to donate his body to the University.” To which, the nurse replied, “How wonderful! We will take care of it.”

My father was very strong willed, with very definite opinions about end-of-life care. His living will, for example, which he wrote himself, stated in its last paragraph that he wanted his heirs to sue any medical practitioner that did not respect his wishes, though he “left that to our discretion.” One of his key reasons for donating his body was to minimize the pain of his children in disposing of his remains.

After he passed, my sister and I specifically stayed in the ICU waiting area expecting that we would have to sign some kind of paperwork. An ICU staff member came out and gently said, “there’s nothing more for you to do, you can go home.” Despite our profound grief, we were comforted by the fact that my father passed quickly, without much pain, and that his final wishes were respected.

On the morning of Tuesday, July 8, when I had dragged myself back to work, barely functional, I received an unexpected telephone call from Ms. Mavis ______ on your staff. Below is my unforgettable memory of that conversation.

“Hello, this is Chris Jones at ______”

“This is Mavis _______ from the Willed Body Program at the University of ______. Why am I just hearing about your father today??”

“The people in the ICU told me that they would take care of the transfer of the body to the Willed Body Program. Who was actually responsible for informing you?”

“To be frank, you!”

“Oh my goodness. I’m so sorry. That’s not what we were told by the hospital.”

“Well, we might not be able to take your father’s body after this length of time.”

“What do I do now?”

“You’ll have to make other arrangements. We can’t take him.”

I was already in shock from my father’s death. I was now even more in shock by the utter lack of sensitivity shown by Ms. ______.

I began making other funeral arrangements.

I also called the number I had been given by the ICU, in case I had any questions. The very kind person on the other end of the phone, a staff member in the pathology department, said that she would investigate and get back to me. About an hour later, I was amazed and surprised to receive a telephone call from Dr ________, associate director of the department of anatomic pathology at the University of ______ Medical Center. She apologized profusely, and informed me that the ICU staff had misinformed my sister and me. I thanked her, sincerely, for her apology. To make amends, she stated that the University would take care of my father’s body as he wished, though his body might not be usable for the medical school. In any case, the University would respect his wishes. She also stated that, just that day, she had mentioned my father’s case to the students in the class she was teaching, so that in future, the medical center staff would be better informed. I was so grateful. It allowed me to let go of the incredibly insensitive phone conversation I had experienced earlier that morning.

During the next month, I received a letter from Mavis asking where my father’s cremated remains should be sent. My sister and I were uncertain about what we wanted to do about my father’s ashes, so we delayed responding. About two weeks later, I received a second, more insistent letter. If we didn’t make a decision soon, the decision would be made for us: his ashes would be deposited in the common location reserved for donations to the University. My sister and I finally concluded that we wanted to receive the ashes, and chose a spot to scatter his ashes. So, I made arrangements with _______ Funeral Home, _______, Seattle, and submitted the required paperwork before the deadline. After that, I heard nothing, until today.

Today I received the attached letter from Mavis. According to the letter, my father’s cremated remains have been sent to a cemetery in Kalispell, Montana. Neither my father, his ancestors, nor his descendants have any ties to Montana. I completed the required paperwork by the deadline, even though that information was apparently not needed for over a year.

Why are my father’s remains now on their way to Montana?

Evidently Mavis is not only woefully insensitive; she is also incompetent.

What are you going to do to correct—systematically—this series of unfortunate events, so that no other family will have to experience what my sister and I have experienced?

Sincerely,

Christopher V. Jones

_________
Director

Willed Body Program

University of ________, School of Medicine
Department of Biological Structure

September 15, 2009

Dear Dr _______:

Following up on my letter to you of September 5, 2009, and our telephone calls on September 11, 2009, and my email on September 12, my sister never requested my father’s ashes be sent to any cemetery anywhere in Montana. During our first phone call on the 11^th, you stated that your employee, Mavis ______ had written a note in his file, dated August 28^th, stating that my sister had called making this request. You also stated that you have no written request from my sister (or from me) to send my father’s remains to Montana.

In speaking with Mr _____ from ______ Memorial Cemetery in Kalispell, MT, no one had ever contacted him to have my father’s ashes interred there. As I stated in my email on the 12^th, someone else is evidently responsible for my father’s ashes being sent to Montana.

As we discussed over the telephone, at your request, enclosed find a signed letter from my sister requesting that my father’s ashes be sent to _____ as well. Again, she had signed the paperwork in August 2008 to have the ashes transferred to ______ l in Seattle.

My sister’s letter reiterates the statement I made to you in my telephone call on the 11^th, and in the email I sent you on the 12^th. In particular, my sister never contacted anyone in your office about having my father’s remains sent to that cemetery in Montana.

Also, per your request, I now formally request, again, that my father’s ashes be sent to _________ Funeral Home, ________, Seattle, WA 98122. This is the same request made, in writing, in approximately August, 2008.

I am sure that my father’s remains will eventually get to ______ as my sister and I originally requested.

If there is any further information you need from me or from my sister, I am sure you will let my sister or me know.

My question from my letter of September 5^th, remains, however. What are you going to do to correct—systematically—this series of unfortunate events, so that no other family will have to experience what my sister and I have experienced?

Sincerely,

Christopher V. Jones

Postscript: As of this writing, Mavis is still employed at the Willed Body Program.